A lot of things happen for a reason, but there are things which reasoning cannot explain. I never thought I would encounter such misery. My mind shifted from clear to cloudy, getting darker as days of pure torture pass. We all make mistakes and a wrong move can change the course of our lives forever – this is what I have realized.
Time became very slow. Patience left my heart and my longing has never been more intense. I tried to savor every drop of happy moments I had with love, hoping that the taste won’t leave me. The sudden change left me wasted, useless and pityful. I took a risk worth taking and not a thought of regret entered my beaten being. But why the flood of tears?
An invisible conversation with the Creator became an option. Questions were raised but were all left unanswered. More chances were asked, more signs were wanted, but only hope came. Take note that everything that enters your life may leave. Mere company is not enough and simple presence is not want I really want. I thought of angels who are there yet remain unseen. I knew it! I am not one of them but at least I tried to be one – even better because I can interact.
Giving up may be one of the best solutions. No other options are left. I’m looking for the road I left; the one I knew so well but I can’t find it. Maybe there is a reason why I settle for these things that make me insane. When you give something away, it is hard to get it back. What if you gave away yourself?
My smile became a defense mechanism. All of my plans are not anymore followed. Riddles challenge everyday of my life. Many times I wondered how I survived, but here I am, an empty vessel for a lonely soul. I know everything will end when I become consumed.