Frustrated Pig

While watching a noontime game show hosted by a high-pitched, thirty-something showbiz figure, the thought of reviving my online diary popped in my head. After almost five months of rest, here I am again, tapping the black keys of my friend Toshiba. Once in a while, it feels good to share something online. Actually, I never really stopped writing. My collection of unedited works already piled up on my desktop. But I missed posting life discoveries and blabbing stuff which are significant for me and actually nonsense for others.

Recently, I found time pulling myself together after being torn apart by studies and responsibilities. For me, this year’s vacation has been the ‘king of all summers.’ I did a lot of things and I hardly gained weight. Before summer officially started, I made a promise to myself. I’m not underweight but I would love to see my body buff a little bit so I promised to try what my pals suggested – just eat, sleep and live like a pig. Sad to say, like many other promises, my ‘live-like-a-pig pledge’ was broken, and this was how it happened:

I spent two hours of April Fools Day morning with my family inside a plane. I was busy reading scary Neil Gaiman stories when I heard the monotonous voice of a cabin crew announcing that our plane has landed. It was the start of my four-day stay in Hong Kong. I considered this trip as a chance to eat a lot. I spent the first day munching KFC chickens while I left my brother running around Toys ‘R Us. Of course, this trip wouldn’t be complete without having our family picture taken together with the most recognizable mouse in the world – Mickey. Every time I ate Mickey-shaped popsicles and Goofy-cooked fries, I was waiting for my body to bloat right away. “When will I get fat?” I frequently asked myself. We spent the last days touring, and every time we walk, I felt that I was getting lighter again.

Gaining weight doesn’t happen in a snap. One other way was to get plenty of sleep. By the second week of April, I was hopeless. How can I get some sleep if I was scheduled to get a Henna tattoo in Puerto Galera, do some church work during Holy Week, and attend a leadership seminar in Laguna? Before Labor Day arrived, I faced the fact that I will never ever get to live the life of a pig.

May arrived and I decided to have a month-long self-pampering. First, I found this wooden foot massage thingy and I gave my feet some rest. I blocked the next two days of the week for a facial and a dental check-up. Then, I found time to catch up with my hometown friends. I spent nights watching a primetime fantasy TV series where my high school classmate plays the role of a magician’s dancing assistant who wears a skimpy yellow-green dress. No more pig dreams.

As of now, my hair grew similar to that of Darna’s leading man, my skin was protected from UV with the help of Coppertone, my body grew several centimeters taller, my American Idol bet Katharine didn’t win, my cell phone beeped a thousand times since Globe launched unlimited texting, and my body built stayed the same. What if I was fat and I needed to trim down? Oh, the vanity! I guess I should start focusing on other things which are more important than trying to be a pig. Maybe next time, I’ll try to become a dog. Like reality, it bites!